The day after yesterday

Fabian and I had a sleepless night following the loss of Bentley but we got up at 8am, it was a beautiful day thank god!

I made the decision to take Fabe to work with me, he had taken Bentleys death very hard and he hasn’t left the house/farm for nearly four weeks so thought it would do him good to have a change of scenery, I made us a picnic and we headed off to the shop, he stayed in the van while I loaded the deliveries, we set off delivering in the Kent countryside, this is just a beautiful time of year and Fabian loved looking at the Bluebells, we spotted an Early Purple Orchid growing near the road so stopped for a min to take a couple of pictures, I’m so proud of how he shares my love of nature but do worry he takes more after his Grandad Graham who loves nature but shoots anything that looks at him funny! Anyway with all our deliveries complete we stopped for 15mins and walked in the bluebell wood on the way home and ate our sandwiches in the sun and chatted about our poor dog.

When we got home I he ran in and I took 10 mins sitting in the van to catch my breath before I could face going in. I called my mum to tell her about B, she was understandably upset, she loved him but so did everyone! I couldn’t face telling anyone else.

At home I really didn’t feel like doing much so mostly drank tea that Millie obligingly kept topping up (I paid for that with countless trips to the loo in the night) watched a bit of tv without really taking it in and then Fabe came in from the garden moaning the clamp for his machine gun wasn’t working, Millie said Grandad Graham will look at it, now Fabian’s response came out of the blue and I didn’t know if I should laugh or what! He said “I can’t call him, he’s dead” Millie said what looking at me imploringly “what” he said “grandad Graham is dead, she (pointing at me) told me he died of Coronavirus” I must have had my mouth open my brain couldn’t compute why he would think that, then it fell into place I was replying to a friends message that he partially read, he asked what it was about I said it was very sad her dad died or Coronavirus. I explained that was my friends dad he said “oh I thought you meant your dad, phew that’s a relief” (I did laugh) I said “I think I would have heart broken if my dad had died” he said “well you have been sad all day” yes I have but because the bloody dog had died!

My best dog ever was still giving us laughs all day, Fabe came out with another of his belters when he’s asked where Bentley was, I said he’s being cremated we will get his ashes back soon, his response was priceless “ oh for god sakes what’s wrong with my family, you keep burning everything” (Millie and I were in stitches) I said “well we don’t really I know your dad likes a bonfire but….” he said” well you burnt Aunty Alison And Mema and Molly” I could only say “well yes but they had died we don’t do it for fun or anything”

Breakfast was cereal bars on the run, lunch was our cheese and pickle sandwiches, beef monster munch (practically their own food group) and a couple of biscuits, by the time dinner arrived I couldn’t be bothered with anything so Giz picked us up fish and chips from Marden, but the scummy gits have changed the fish, I don’t eat it often but the cod is usually fat and flaky with proper with wispy batter this was like sardine with a leather jacket, they have already changed their chicken nuggets from big lumps of breast meat to crappy chewed up and spat back together chewy chicken crappy things if they keep this up I will have to change chippys. (That is a lot of of c’s in one sentence)

I didn’t watch much in the evening I was too busy writing a very long blog I may or may not post at a later date. Once the kids had gone up Giz put Gordon, Gino and Fred on, I can’t say I approve of all the stuff on there tonight, my morals are looser than a whores drawers but I can’t abide drugs in any form, they killed my childhood sweetheart and ruined some of my nearest and dearests lives but the rest did make me laugh. Still had tears before bedtime such a big lump of a dog leaves a big hole in your life.