Day 5 Can’t be arsed

Once again up before the sun, it’s amazing what taking the stress out of everyday life has done to me, after years of being convinced I have the longest terminal illness ever (well the 2nd longest to just being alive) every day I wake up reluctantly, feeling frankly a little bit shit, I open my eyes and wait to see what hurts most will it be my whole body aching or just a couple of joints, my head my throat my stomach????? But in just a few days of having nothing to panic about (if you don’t include a worldwide pandemic) I feel great even the effects of Joe Wicks’s workout has worn off if I continue to walk like a cowboy 🤠 As well as the sun shining, today we have icy howling winds to boot luckily my son is weatherproof so I can kick him out when he starts to climb the walls.

As promised there won’t be any attempts at homeschooling over the weekends but on the understanding he has to knuckle down on Monday morning or I’m stepping it up to a seven day week. I love my son with every breath in my body but my god he’s hard work it’s a good he’s cute but bye heck does he know he has the charm of the devil but I will remain strong (yeah right) I did manage a bit of revenge by telling him I’d made naan bread using real a real nanny, when he asked if it was his nanny I said “yes well she was getting on a bit so made her into bread” now I didn’t think for one minute he would believe me and I should have felt bad when he started to cry but it was just too funny at which point he got really angry and said I killed his nanny I would be next!!

Now I’m the only person in the civilised western world that doesn’t own a dish washer, I hate the smell and can’t understand why I want to use a huge amount of water and electricity on an hour long program for a job that only takes 10 mins manually the thing is I don’t do washing-up either, putting my hands in manky dish water makes my skin crawl but up until recently this hasn’t been a problem as I do all the cooking Gary and my ex husband before him have done all the washing up, it’s one of the few household chores I dig my heels in about but now Giz is working all the hours under the sun and I’m effectively unemployed I can’t make him, I have tried putting Millie to work on it but end up doing it again or risk getting the shits from our crockery. So I suspect after this hell is over I might give in a get with the times, we got a landline phone 2years ago so who knows I might even get a toaster by 2022 (we did have swanky 4 slice dualit toaster but my cat Casper pissed in it….I will never know why he did that)

My goal for the day was to repaint the front room but I simply couldn’t be arsed so settled for a spot of oil painting a far more gentile past time that is a huge source of amusement for my family (apart from Millie who has begged me to stop) I predicted we would be on lockdown after mother’s day so did a dash to Hobbycraft to stock up….stockpile….panic buy art supplies mainly canvases but turns out I’m not the only wood be artist there was only a handful left on the shelves in fact Hobbycraft looked like it had been burgled. I got what I could and Gary met me a the checkout he looked suspiciously like he was going to pay right up until the woman said “that’s £79.00 please” he went pale and said to her “£79.00 fuck that, she’s bloody awful” he did continue the rant but I was too busy paying to listen to his words of encouragement. Anyway I’m a long way from finished today’s painting but when it’s done if I feel like humiliating myself I might share a picture of it.

Dinners are sorted for the next couple of days, I’d already made the veggie curry but also made sag paneer dished up with naan bread (no nans were hurt in the making of said bread) I made a huge vat of pasta sauce blending in a multitude of secret veg so Fabian can’t apply his lumpy food filter (he loves veg but the min you put any type of sauce on it he considers it lumps) I also made Spanish chicken and pastas bravas and just because I had a sad looking pineapple in the fruit bowl I made a pineapple upside down cake, I’m pretty sure that the first one since home economics where I shared a kitchen station with James Tanner who’s now a celebrity chef #shamelessnamedrop he wasn’t much good back then and we spent more time laughing at Miss Kerrs cankles (calves that are also ankles) we conjured up some properly crap food from those lessons, we had a slightly awkward reunion at pub in the park last year where he’s said “I know you don’t I” well yes he did nearly 30 years ago but while I now look like one of the creatures in cocoon that have had their life force drained he had aged about 8 years, ffs some people get all the luck, fame, fortune and skin like a newborn babies bum grrrr

News flash….Giz brought me home flowers, you will note the careful wording of that sentence, I was a bit emotional when he came in carrying a big bunch of protea I thought it was such a nice thoughtful thing to do in these horrible times but no he’s too daft to keep quiet and said “it’s alright I didn’t buy them the woman in Waitrose asked if I wanted them, I told her no but she gave them to me anyway” RIP Romance, died of Coronavirus March 2020

Exhausted from doing possibly a new record low in steps taken in a day I am heading for bed I better make tomorrow a bit more productive