Easy like Sunday Morning

Existing on very little sleep I was driven out of bed by the sun coming up so decided to make the most of it and got the kids up for an early morning trip to the coast, the journey was lovely there was not a car to be seen on the roads and I enthralled the kids with my “in da car playlist” I say enthralled I’m sure the groans were sounds of joy they were making with the beginning of every track and it must have just been the early start that made their eyes glaze over like dead fish! Anyway I was loving the tunes and the drive.

We arrived at Littlestone, parked easily next to the beach it was only a very short walk up a pebble path through the dunes and we were met with the glorious site of miles of sandy beach, the tide was so far out you could barely see the sea just the sun glimmering on the wet sand it felt like the first proper freedom we’d had in months! Fabian needed no asking he was off like a rocket running for all he was worth, Millie being the sultry teenager opted to walk the tide line on the pebbly bar between the dunes and sand collecting shells and anything else interesting (she’s a real chip off the old block) I caught up with Fabe who was by then digging his way to Australia using a very large shell as a spade, it was an impressive hole for a small boy with a clam shell! I had been worried everyone would have the same idea and we would be forced to leave by crowds of people, the media is heaving with pictures of packed beaches and my social media sites are full of self righteous people passing judgement on all who dare set foot on the shore but there wasn’t another soul around so for at least an hour we walked and gathered shells until Fabian found what he considered a stick but most would call a tree, he dragged the bloody thing around with utter determination, your average Labrador would have been very impressed. We walked until the dots in the distance started to form the unmistakable shape of people and more importantly Fabian started to whinge about food as I did promise I’d find somewhere for breakfast so before we went back to the car we did our five piece litter pick, we have a rule we each have to gather at least 5 pieces of plastic before we leave a beach, sadly we’ve never found a beach where this wasn’t possible and this one was a particularly bad one, there were loads of sheets of polythene, fishing line and a foil balloon with a long poly string just the sort of thing wildlife gets tangled in, if everyone just took the time do that then maybe it would make a small difference.

Now if there’s one thing every parent knows it’s NEVER make a promise to a child you might not be able to keep and I’d made a huge error thinking there would be a tea bar or something doing takeaway food but no so Fabian went into continuous loop of “when can we eat, where is the food” until I started to foam at the mouth. We drove all the way to Dungeness but nothing until I spotted one of the fish huts on the beach was open and sporting a chalkboard advertising Simply ice-cream, now if you’ve never tried Simply Ice-cream you don’t know what you are missing it’s a little bit of magic in a pot (magic that really upsets my IBS and gives me the burning shits of doom but so worth it) so ice-cream for breakfast it was. I know the fish from this place is great as I’ve stopped there a few times, one occasion getting a roar of laughter from the local fisher folk as I tried to jump out of my Range Rover at high speed on a very hot day forgetting shorts and leather seats just don’t mix so instead of the slick exit I’d planned I had to slowly unstick myself, you could actually hear the skin leaving the back of my thighs and if that hadn’t been enough to alert the spectators to my plight Millies hysterical laughter would have drawn their attention! Anyway although today they didn’t have much I chose a fantastic looking crab to have for lunch putting it in the chiller glove compartment praying to god I didn’t forget it was there like Mum did once on a family outing, she tucked a bag of brown shrimps under the passenger seat it took Dad a week to find it and the car never smelled the same again.

We drove back along the coast pausing briefly to laugh at a blow up doll dressed in a nurses outfit wearing surgical mask and her outstretched arms instead of holding a dirty old man were grasping a Thank You NHS sign Millie and I were literally crying with laughter ignoring the small ones voice in the back demanding an explanation as to why it was so funny! By the time we got to Rye it was hot hot hot and the motorcyclists that are clearly immune to Covid were gathered in droves I can’t say I blame them for a ride out and I keep considering swinging my leg over my motorbike as I begin my midlife crisis but I wish they would at least pretend to keep a safe distance apart to avoid being lumped in the “wanker” category! I used to dread the Rye stop, there isn’t a proper entrance into the tiny car park you have to turn at a fairly sharp angle then steer through a gap between the barrier and the wall just big enough for your bike and knees and roll in between hundreds of other bikes praying like mad you don’t fuck it up in front of everyone, it was worse for me as I was one of very few women who rode their own bike so the men were hoping you would balls it up, thankfully I never did…….well there anyway!

We took a slow drive around Rye and then I saw it, the holy grail……… a cafe open and there was no queue! What we then had was the best bacon sandwich I’ve ever tasted (total exaggeration it was average at best but it did shut my kids up bickering for five mins and that was a golden moment)

With no toilets open anywhere time out was going to have a limit and we got home before lunch, after the stampede for the toilet I was knackered, I’m really suffering from joint pain so after a few quick unavoidable housework jobs Fabian and I took to the sofa, I found Pearl Harbour on Sky so we settled in for the full three hours and one min (why one min surely they could have edited that out) Fabian loved it! Gary came home really late so joined me for my second movie About A Boy, Fabian had got ants in his pants and gone to play outside so it was nice to watch something without a question every 2 mins!

Breakfast as you know Pistachio Simply ice-cream, second breakfast was a bacon sandwich! Lunch a crabmeat sandwich complete with a big bit of shell I narrowly escaped losing a tooth on, diner was the steak and kidney pudding Millie started making the day before, served with swede, broccoli, carrots and butternut squash and potatoes………amazing!

By 9pm I was all in so time for bed!