Sun is steaming through the window again and the birds are singing their beaks off, I’m still in good spirits considering I had a bit of a restless night, I found out trying to sleep downstairs whilst pulled pork is bubbling away in the slow cooker is really hard the strong smell of garlic, onions and paprika wafting into the front room woke me several times and it takes your brain a while process that the smell isn’t the house on fire (and I should know I’ve had three house fires and set fire countless random things, I once completely melted a stapler on the cooker top and set fire to a pair of socks with a toaster) I tried shopping online at 4am but Tesco is still a no goer until about 2022 so I’m sending Gary amongst the potentiality infected after work for a few supplies, I figure as he’s already mixing with people at work and frankly gets on my tits most of the time I’m willing to sacrifice him! I got dressed up in a sports bra and stretchy clothing ready for Mr Wicks to put me through my paces but oh no the phone rang so it was a visual workout only, it’s a pity he’s not my type I wonder if Jason Momoa would mind doing this I’d definitely pay attention then!
10am I say time for homeschooling and Fabian vanished into a puff of smoke! I found him in the garden and when confronted about him buggering off the smarty pants said we go in the playground before lessons and you haven’t rung the bell! Having rounded him up I let him choose the first subject so diary writing it is followed by maths and a disastrous spelling test, I have realised I am not smarter than a six year old and judging by the work he’s been given I wouldn’t make it much past year one at primary school, no wonder children are having mental health issues so young my brain is mush trying to understand these questions, if we had known this stuff at good old paddock wood primary in the 80’s we’d have been snapped up my Mensa, bring back the good old “Tommy gets on the bus outside the shops at 9am, 10 mins later an old lady gets on, then 6 more at the leisure centre 5 miles away, one person dies another has a split personality and gives birth then bus breaks down at the market so what time is it in Outer Mongolia” this is why I was in the dipshit class for maths at secondary school, My primary focus in class was how many paper spit balls could I get to stick to the ceiling before Mr Bowden exploded. Today homeschooling did not go well I think we might try the online stuff tomorrow.
Millie is descending into teenage slothfulness, the nagging is starting to creep back into my life, I’m trying to get her to carry out basic tasks like toilet flushing and maybe wash her hair before I use it for cooking chips. She did at least join us on our walk today I didn’t look but I think there was probably two trails left behind where her knuckles dragged along the floor judging by her Kevin and Perry style posture. We took the sketch pads with great intentions of drawing in the field but 5seconds of standing still i was freezing my fanny off so scrapped that and headed home for a cuppa.
Food for they day was Strangled eggs for breakfast as Fabian calls them at lunch I managed to gather enough saliva for another chewy chicken sandwich for lunch and not that I’m starting to get bored but there is 14 Wheat Crunchies in a bag that works out at 1.2p per crisp #firstsignofcabinfever. It was Pulled pork taco’s with salad for dinner and yeah it was awesome! Chicken pie and veg ready for tomorrow, I will get ready to throw away half of Fabians as he regards pastry is for packaging purposes only!
After topping up on soaps I watched the vanishing of Sidney Hall I’m pretty sure I would have enjoyed it more if I hadn’t been trying to drown out the deafening sound Gary’s snoring….why can’t people just go the feck to bed instead of annoying the snot out of you???? Anyway I avoided the temptation of smothering him with a cushion mainly because it would break my 2m distancing rule…if only I had a gun!
Life but not as we know it 